We’ve all
been there.
You are at
the store, a few unmentionables in your cart, when suddenly you run into someone
you know in a casual or (worse yet) professional way. You cast a furtive glance
down to the items in your basket and try covering them with your jumbo bag of
chips bought just for the purpose of camoflage:
Tampons, a box of L’Oreal with a girl half my age on it, an E.P.T. (it’s for a friend), bleach for
that ahem-- facial hair, hemorrhoid
cream, and other assorted ”feminine hygiene” doo-dads that I would do well not
to mention. (I can only imagine the fate that awaits one purchasing adult
incontinence products.)
One’s
shopping cart tells many tales, and those checkers must know us very well, mustn’t
they? (Not to mention the Big Boxes in
the sky which track all of our purchases.) The
checkers know if we’ve had a bout of the flu, are picky about our organic
produce or let our kids gorge on pop-tarts.
They are the ones who know if we’re buying things on food stamps or
purchasing yet another bottle of cheap wine or a box of Trojans. (Note: Do not buy those two things together.)
I wonder if their tongues wag in the break-room or if there is some type of code, like doctors, which keep them from telling tales on the customers.
I recently
wrote a shopping scene in my WIP which kindled a thought.I wonder if their tongues wag in the break-room or if there is some type of code, like doctors, which keep them from telling tales on the customers.
What’s in
your hypothetical cart at the local Walgreens for Writers? If you were just
popping in to pick up a short list of acoutrements necessary for the writerly
life, what would those items be? In my basket I’d have a few superlative, organically-grown adjectives; a really
kick-ass thesaurus; a killer metaphor that everyone would, like, totally
understand (without it being too obvious of course); a gynormous eraser the
size of my head, and a “How to Land an Agent: touch-up kit”. (It was a buy one get one kinda thing.)
Oh—and a
cheap bottle of wine.Would love to hear your grocery list of must-haves. Go for it. I won’t tell.
Just shopping for ideas...
ReplyDeleteAnd thankful I no longer need to buy certain items for my wife.
Hi Cap'n. Thanks for stopping by and your a champ for shopping for your wife!
Delete~Just Jill
It's hard to add anything to such a complete list...hmmm...maybe two bottles of cheap wine and a doughnut cushion for my very own writer's hemorhhoids.
ReplyDeleteDear Helen,
DeleteGlazed or powdered?
~Just Jill
white icing with sprinkles....
DeleteI need to pick up a big carton of writing discipline and a bottle of Organize-Your-Life. I'm heading to the store now.
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks for playing along Rosi!
Delete~Just Jill
HA! Yeah... it's a good thing I'm fairly shameless. My husband is our primary cook and shopper, so when I go, I don't even have a bunch of normal stuff to balance the embarrassing stuff. I tend to buy the girl stuff my teen is embarrassed to put on her dad's list, oddball things only I use (flavored coffee, tea) and liquor. Yeah, it's not pretty.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Have you ever picked up a neutralizing item, merely to "fluff" up your purchases?
DeleteThanks for stopping by Hart!
~Just Jill
I'm always amused that the birth control in my favorite grocery store is located directly across from the diapers.
ReplyDeleteHa! Do they keep the wine there too?
Delete~Just Asking
It seems like they never carry Time at Walgreens.
ReplyDeleteOnly People.
Delete~Just Jill
Pens! Notebooks (never mind that I have about five hundred around the place in various stages of use or disuse, one nommed by a departed cat) reams of printing paper... And a small bottle of plum wine. You know - the type from Japan with the little green plums in them. They are perfect, nicely chilled, to celebrate finishing a chapter...
ReplyDeleteExquisite dahling. If only Walgreens would carry such delicasies...
Delete~Just Jill
Forget the wrinkle cream and skin bronzer... how about a product to make the skin a little thicker to help protect us from any painful reviews? Oh, and wine and chocolate, of course.
ReplyDeleteAh yes. A skin thickener is a capital idea! How about an anti-rejection cream too?
ReplyDelete~Just Jill
Time, definitely, and de-addler for tired brains! Great post!
ReplyDeleteI tried to buy two for one time the other day but the coupon was expired.
Delete~Just Jill
I had a moment today where I needed to purchase lady items. Other half needed to go to B&Q (next door) I of course was finished long before him and had to spend half an hour wandering round B&Q with lady items in a see through plastic bag.
ReplyDeleteAlso bought one other item - a Pen. Can't go shopping without buying some form of stationery item.
That made me smile. I was in the super market once buying a box of tampax, a bottle of wine and a bar of Dairy Milk (the big kind, not those piddly little single bars.) I also managed to choose the checkout with the pimply teenage boy on!
ReplyDeleteAt the minute I'd pick up some privacy at the Walgreen for Writers. And maybe some sparkle. My prose is kind of flat of late.
Hi, visiting from the IWSG, I like shopping, though buying certain items make me wriggly, but they have to be bought ;)
ReplyDeleteRachna Chhabria
Co-host IWSG
Rachna's Scriptorium